question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
