he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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