"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
