i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and she was petting her beer can
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
