Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
