My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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