Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You ate ashes out of my bong
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
