First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
