Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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