shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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