How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
A bitchslap is in order.
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