Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
