I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
