Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
