Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
