as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
