Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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