im holly from the hills drunk
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
