So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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