Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
