If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
