So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
