Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My balls are so social today.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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