I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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