worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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