They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
