he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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