All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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