Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
