you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
