Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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