careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
