I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
