Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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