what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
