Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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