I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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