Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
