im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
