well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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