Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she pinky promised me she was 18
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
