So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
