One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
