ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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