the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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