Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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