i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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