If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
