She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
