After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
