Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
